Heal me Today

They say age is just a number, and honestly, it’s true. I really don’t feel 40. Deep down, I still feel like I’m somewhere around 30. No, I’m not stuck in the past, nor am I making immature decisions. I just feel young—young enough to start so many new things, yet wise and experienced enough that my choices don’t hurt me the way they used to. So, as the saying goes: I’m 20 with 20 years of experience! 😂 People tell me I don’t look my age either, which, I won’t lie, feels pretty great.

But back to my birthday. I haven’t celebrated it yet—at least not properly. We planned a big BBQ with friends and colleagues, but since my birthday is in the summer, syncing everyone’s schedules was nearly impossible. So, my real celebration is happening at the end of September. On the day itself, I was just with my daughter, and then mostly by myself because she went to her dad’s the next day.

I found myself wondering whether being alone bothered me. But here’s what I know: having a house full of guests says nothing about who I am as a person. What it did show me, in real-time, was the impact of my divorce: the loss of a social circle. It’s not that I miss his friends all that much, but back then, there was always someone around. I won’t even get into how surface-level those relationships were, but it made me realize something important: it’s time to build a new circle. One that is truly mine, filled with genuine people who nourish my soul, allow me to be fully myself, and help me grow.

So, to anyone out there feeling lonely or isolated: I see you, and I know how it feels. Don’t lose hope. The moment you open yourself up to the possibility of meeting someone new—even just a new friend—they will come. Finding the courage isn’t easy, I know. But it’s not impossible. Believe that it will happen and look forward to it, because somewhere out there, someone is waiting to see you shine.

I’m confident my circle will grow soon. And yours will, too.