Heal me Today

It has been two months… two months since my life turned upside down.

It already feels like a lifetime, because so much has happened since then.

I have lived through days full of hatred, pain, despair, and hopelessness—but also days filled with joy, hope, and motivation. Little by little, I am coming to terms with what my husband has done, and I am trying to find the right path forward so that everything works for our daughter.

It takes a lot of tolerance and self-control, but my love for her is stronger than anything. She still doesn’t know the truth, but the day is approaching when we will tell her—because soon I will find out the verdict from the bank: whether I will become the proud owner of our new home.

This house represents my new beginning. A place where I can finally live the way I deserve. A place where no one will look at me with judgment, criticize me for every little thing, or try to belittle me. I want this house to be a place of love and happiness—for me and for my daughter. I want to create a true home for us: safe, warm, and full of life.

I already see us there: movie nights by the fireplace, cooking together in the kitchen, turning our bathroom into a little wellness spa. I see us running through the garden, planting vegetables, laughing as she swings or jumps on the trampoline while I watch from the terrace. I see us splashing in the pool on warm summer days. Beautiful years are ahead of us.

As for how much my husband will be a part of those years—I don’t know. Honestly, I don’t even want to think about it right now. The pain he caused me—not only by what he did but also by what came after—is almost unforgivable. Almost. Because I believe my heart is big and full of love, and that despite the anger, I will one day be able to forgive and love again.

It won’t be easy—it never will. I know there are still difficult days ahead, full of sadness and tears. But I refuse to lose my positive spirit. I believe things will be good. Maybe even better than good. Maybe we will be happier than ever before.

All it takes is faith, and the courage to follow our dreams.

Today, I feel sad—very sad. But I believe in myself. I know I will make it through.

With love,

Zuzi