Heal me Today

For years, I’ve been reflecting on the nature of anger. Why do people get angry and fight? Over time, I’ve come to believe that it’s not always about direct conflict between individuals. Often, it’s about something deeper—expectations.

We humans are full of expectations: of ourselves, of others, of how situations should unfold. And more often than not, these expectations lead to disappointment, especially when they involve other people.

When I expect something from myself—and I have the determination to follow through—disappointment is less likely. But when I expect something from others, the outcome is far more uncertain. That’s where frustration begins. We start asking: Why did that person say that? Why didn’t they do it differently? I would have done it this way.

This is the root of much of our internal unrest. If we learn to let go of expectations, we can greatly reduce the disappointment we experience in life.

Anger, more often than we realize, is not directed at others but at ourselves. We’re angry because we expected something to happen—and it didn’t.

Another important aspect is understanding that even if we set clear expectations, the other person isn’t obligated to meet them. No one has the right to dictate how another person should act or think. If more people focused on being content with their own behavior—rather than trying to control someone else’s—we’d save ourselves a lot of emotional turmoil.

Of course, I’m not talking about serious matters where someone’s actions are truly harmful—those situations must be addressed. I’m referring to everyday arguments, misunderstandings, and the small conflicts that wear us down.

So let’s try this: expect less, and live more. In doing so, we might just find a bit more peace.