Heal me Today

Yesterday was Mother’s Day — a truly beautiful holiday for me.
It’s a day when I get to honor my own mother, but also reflect on my own journey as a mom — a role that is, without a doubt, the most difficult, beautiful, and mysterious one I’ll ever have.

Motherhood didn’t start easily for me. I went through postpartum depression, returned to work far too early, and honestly, those first months were some of the darkest. Yes, there were sweet moments with my daughter, but everything else felt overwhelming. I couldn’t sleep, I could barely eat, even taking a shower felt like a victory. When I started working from home again just five months after giving birth, I was constantly exhausted — juggling 24/7 work while trying to be fully present for my baby. And I couldn’t manage it.

I was overwhelmed, and I blamed my husband. It wasn’t fair — it wasn’t his fault — but I needed someone to carry the weight of my pain. I was so lost that at one point, I convinced myself that the best thing I could do was leave my family and let them live peacefully without me. I believed I was the problem.

But my husband stayed. He stood by me and slowly helped me realize just how wrong I was. That was the turning point. Everything began to shift, and I was finally able to become the loving mother I always wanted to be. Or maybe — I became the loving mother I always was, just underneath the pain.

Today, my daughter is my greatest gift and my best friend. I love her deeply, and I’m grateful for every single moment we share. I’m also thankful for all the struggles — they’ve taught me that family is everything, and that everyone, no matter how lost they may feel, deserves a second chance.

Now, when I see mothers who never stop giving their children another chance, I understand them completely. I’m a mom — I get it.