Heal me Today

Have you ever had the feeling that you just give and give… and somehow, it’s never enough? That no matter what you do, you always end up being the “bad guy”?

This morning actually started off quite well — and that’s something I don’t take for granted. After a long time, I finally slept decently. Sleep is usually a struggle for me — either I can’t fall asleep at all, or I’m haunted by nightmares. But today, it was different. Peaceful. I got up, did my usual morning routine, cleaned a bit, tackled the laundry, made myself some breakfast and coffee. Then I saw the final episode of one of my favorite shows was out (more on that in a future post 😉), so I decided to treat myself and unwind on the couch for a bit.

I even prepped the ingredients for lunch — it felt like I had a rare moment to breathe.

But it didn’t last long.

Not long after, my daughter (well, not so little anymore) woke up and came to ask for her suitcase — we’re traveling tomorrow. I told her gently, “I’ll give it to you in a minute.” But I could see right away that made her sad. She’s the kind of person who wants things now, and I try to teach her that the world doesn’t always work that way. And honestly? I didn’t want to stand up in that moment. I just needed one more minute.

But the minute passed and she asked again, and this time I got upset. I felt that familiar frustration rising — not just because of the suitcase, but because of the deeper pattern. I asked her to wait, and it felt like that simple request wasn’t respected. So I gave her the suitcase — but with exasperation, and yes, I scolded her.

Now I sit here feeling guilty.

Guilty for raising my voice over something as small as a suitcase. But also overwhelmed by the bigger picture: that I’m always the one who has to ask, remind, enforce. That I’m perceived as strict, even when all I want is mutual respect.

Why is it so hard sometimes to be shown the same consideration we try to give to others?

This feeling of injustice — of emotional imbalance — weighs heavily on me. I know we all parent differently, and we all come from different places emotionally. But I’m genuinely curious…

Would this upset you too?
Would you have handled it differently?
Tell me your thoughts. Let’s talk about it — really talk. ❤️